and a little for later

I've really got some issues, I mean, I'm paranoid but.. I have a reason to be paranoid because I didn't want it to happen but it has and now I'm not really sure what to do with it and I wish I had a place to go and just stay until I figure it all out but I ain't got that kind of luxury cuz I'm just nothing but a street rat with a few scars and a missing ear because some bitch chewed it off not that I mind overly much it really wasn't all that bad at the time but now I kind of miss it and I'm wondering if it wasn't such a good idea to let her sit and chew so long considering I can't exactly put it back on though I think she put it in a pocket somewhere when she was through and I might I suppose be able to get it but really do I want it now with all her slobber and teeth marks?

She wasn't wearing any veils. Athame .. not the bitch. And I think she's been with the Scarab but I can't tell for sure because she didn't smell like him or taste like him and I think I swallowed her whole but I made sure she was alive before I left to find the Scarab because I have a few questions for him and I don't think it's all fine that he is invading my personal space even if it isn't really mine but someone else she's still my personal space as I see it and I'm not happy he is all focused now because I'm just not done.

I mean I'm not apposed to the lust or anything because it's a roller coaster ride from hell and I kind of liked channeling his entire desire wrapped up in one little neat empathic moment but I knew it wasn't mine and there's a certain part of me that likes to keep that part of me private which I figure is a big surprise to some but come on I mean was he feeling everything I felt and did he get as much out of it as I did and I did get a lot out of it but not near enough and if I could just figure out how to keep her alive longer I mean awake longer I think the experience would be even more sublime well and if I could experience it for myself and without the added weight of someone else's shroud of lust making me feel all used and slightly embarrassed after the entire thing which in turn set me off to find him and leave her alone wrapped up in a white shroud .. yes wrapped up in white linen as cold as the clay wait was she cold? I can't remember.

But I'm pretty sure I saved some for later.

I really have some issues.