crazy train

This time it even took my breath away. It was slow. It was deep. I cinched the leather belt tight on my thigh to keep it ... just right. The spiral of focus wavered and settled. Yes. I knew. I remembered. I was in control again. The anxiety was over. The rush weighted the heavy aegis of lids as they slid over the clear blue of my eyes. A slow stuttering hiss of breath drawn in over my teeth as my head lolled back enough so that the muscles of my neck restricted my breathing. I knew what I would do. I could see it all and I understood it all and in a few moments I would set it all into motion. But, right now, I just needed to allow it to flow through my veins. Blood cells whispering to each other through the smallest capillaries. They shared the wisdom of the ages with each other and spoke in the languages of gods. I wanted to lean down and listen, surely it was something I was supposed to know. But I was so comfortable. Aroused. I had to fumble with the lacing on my pants as I felt constricting tightness stretch skin. Icy fingers spread across my chest and eased the hellish burning that caused my skin to always be hot to the touch. Then the icy fingers turned to raven's wings and they beat upon me in rhythm with my heart.

That is the last I remember of that day.