jealous possession

and from my mind
the pages slip
the angels sing
and offer lip

service

and I am lost
forever found
upon the banks
of silent sound

me

her breath is laced
with opiate screams
cheek to womb
my final dreams

now


He must not see her. He may not have her. I know she is his type. But I am not done yet. I want to know first. I need to know first. There is something there that can help me. I know it. If I could just want it long enough to remember that I do. I must remember or I will slip and he will hear of her from my lips. And he will know and he will take her for his own. But I am not ready yet. I have to remember not to forget. He was there . I could smell him. I had to leave so he did not see me with her. He would have known instantly. He can not know yet. He can not have her yet. I know he would want her. I know exactly what she would look like as one of his dolls. I know he would take her. I can not let him take her yet. I am not done. I have to think. I have to remember. I can't let this slip away from me. I can't let this be like everything else.

The Angels are singing. I can hear her voice soothing me. No, I have to stop listening until I remember not to forget. Cephalic pain. Otherwise she will be lost to me and I will not even know enough to be sad because I will not remember her to want her and find she is not there. How can I remind myself to remember that I want more from her?

There has to be a way to cut through this so I can remember. There has to be a pain constant enough to keep my thoughts focused.